Do Your Goals Embarrass You?

It’s the natural time of year to think about the upcoming months and set “goals” for yourself, your employees and company.  Goal setting is a tricky area to navigate because our Egos love to get involved with defining the goals.  Our Egos wants to be skinnier, richer, more influential, etc.  I’ve set goals based on my Ego’s desire in the past and it didn’t work.  The luster of my Ego’s “goals” quickly wore off and I couldn’t muster the energy to force myself in the direction my Ego wanted to take me.Letting my Ego have a say in what it wants my goals to be is an important part of my goal-setting process.  I don’t want to ignore it altogether, so part of my process is to write down everything my Ego wants on one side of a blank piece of paper, and then on the other half, write down everything my Soul wants. When I say my “Soul” I mean the higher-consciousness, the wiser part of myself.)  When I compare my two lists, something interesting generally happens.When I read the list of goals my Ego wants it’s somewhat predictable. They are things like making more money, getting bigger clients, losing weight, and winning a dance competition. When I’m honest with myself, those goals just don’t get my blood flowing and frankly bore me.  But, when I read the list of goals my Soul wants, as strange as this sounds, my first reaction is one of embarrassment.  Yes, embarrassment.Feeling embarrassed about the thought of actually achieving my goals is a sign that they’re audacious and nothing my Ego could possibly dream up.  Egos like to play it safe, our Souls don’t need to.  Intuitively, our Souls know what’s possible for us and those little inklings or desires we have in our heart become great guidance for us.  Over the years I’ve learned that the goals my Soul wants give me energy and inspiration throughout the year.  They never fall flat mid-year like my Ego’s “resolutions” do.When I explore my reaction of embarrassment a bit more, I realize the embarrassment emerges when I think about stating my goal out loud to someone else.  I get embarrassed because there’s a part of me (my Ego) that thinks the goal sounds so outrageous that others might say “that’s not possible” or “good luck” (and not in a good way).  My Ego has a hard time with my Soul setting the direction because it’s afraid that I will fail or look stupid and it’s job is all about keeping me safe and “looking good” to others.    Now I’ve gotten to a place where I’m pleased when I feel embarrassed; it’s because I KNOW my Ego isn’t leading and that always produces good things for my life.Experiment:  As you think about your goals for 2013 I invite you to write two sets of goals:  one for your Ego and one for your Soul.  See which ones get your juices flowing, make your heart beat just a bit faster, give you butterflies in your stomach, and maybe even evoke a little embarrassment.  Those are all good signs!  Once you have a few goals that feel audacious—ones you won’t know “how” you’ll achieve— write them on one piece of paper and place them somewhere you can see them often.  Don’t get too hung up the “hows,” but instead, read the goals often and notice how the fear wears off.I suspect an idea of the first step in achieving those goals will come to you “out of the blue.”  Take that first step and then you’ll be off and running, achieving things your Ego wouldn’t possibly have dreamt of.  Then imagine yourself at the end of 2013 having accomplished everything you set out to do. I bet you won’t be embarrassed then!